Security leads to independence

Denise Aungst, Michigan State University Extension -

Children will try new things knowing their parents and family love them in good and bad situations. They will develop curiosity and interact with others in a positive way.

First and foremost, infants and toddlers learn to trust and feel secure by having their basic needs met. Beyond that, children and parents alike need a sense of security to develop emotionally. Children will try new things knowing their parents and family love them in good and bad situations. They will develop curiosity and interact with others in a positive way.

Security is built on a foundation of affection, routine and discipline. The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning refers to security as attachment and describes “What Works” in its 2011 brief.

  • Affection: Whether its fist pumps, hugs, kisses or a pat on the back all kids need positive touch and praise as an expression of affection.
  • Routine: Starts as simple bed time, bath time and feeding rituals and morph into weekly outings, homework and chores.
  • Discipline: Knowing boundaries, expectations and consistency are key components to fair discipline. These three fundamental elements surround children with the secure that their world is predictable.

Predictability allows kids to navigate change while feeling safe, stable and loved. When children know what to expect, they will predict loving responses and empathy and will develop emotional security. Emotional security breads self-worth which is vital in upper elementary and adolescence when peer relations become more and more important in their lives. Ultimately, security underlies a young persons’ identity giving them the confidence to withstand negative peer pressure, set and accomplish goals while treating others with kindness and compassion.

Incorporating all these elements into parenting is achieved one interaction at a time over days, weeks, and years. Your thoughtfulness and effort to build security will ensure a foundation that will enable your child to learn, grow and thrive!

To contact an expert in your area, visit people.msue.msu.edu.

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit https://extension.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit https://extension.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit https://extension.msu.edu/experts, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

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